[identity profile] missmurchison.livejournal.com in [community profile] seasonal_spuffy
If it's Tuesday, this must be Sunnydale

The story begins here.

Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. Only the lame plots and dialogue herein are mine.

Notes: Set in version of S6 that is so AU it's nearly angst-free. Buffy either didn't die at the end of S5 or was happy to come back. Everyone gets along, more or less, at least until someone gets a really nifty notion.

Rating: R, barely

Thanks: to [livejournal.com profile] keswindhover and [livejournal.com profile] revdorothyl for the beta, not to mention coming up with the plot bunny in the first place. I am wholly to blame for any errors. And thanks to [livejournal.com profile] itmustbetuesday for the comm, and because her name prompted me to think of a title at last.

I forgot to acknowledge Katharine Briggs' Abbey Lubbers, Banshees & Boggarts in some earlier posts. (Wow, look at that price on a new copy! It looks like you can get used ones for a song, though.) I have several of her books of folktales, and after browsing through some of the stories in this one for the first time in many years, I'm tempted to reread the others. Several of the "demons" in my story are stolen borrowed from Briggs' collection, although I've changed their habits, physical characteristics, and even their names to suit my purposes.

For a very different treatment of selkies, see also The Secret of Roan Inish.




Wednesday night

"Say you're sorry again." Buffy's voice was stern.

"I'm sorry," said Spike obediently.

"Because I deserve a really good apology."

"That you do."

"Good boy." Buffy kissed him. "Would you like some more champagne?"

"No, thanks, love."

"More for me, then." She reached over the side of his bed and picked up her glass and the bottle from the floor. Then she plumped up some pillows and lay next to him, smiling contentedly. "I like this much better than that stuff in your flask. It was nice of you to get me this and the chocolates." She reached down again and found a gold box. She frowned. "More than half gone now."

"I'll get you another box if—" Spike found himself trying to talk around a square of chocolate.

"These will do." She kept poking at the contents of the box. "You have no idea how angry I was with you."

"I'm getting the idea."

"You didn't tell me you'd invited half the cast of Lord of the Rings to prowl all over Sunnydale when you knew I was chasing a shapeshifter. Not to mention letting my little sister babysit them and using a magic map to track my movements."

"Slayer, I told you, I didn't think there was anything out there. How many times have those wankers on the Watcher's Council been wrong?"

She picked out a dark chocolate and sat up again. "You mean like the time they told me there was a hell god on the loose?"

He was getting desperate. "I couldn't tell you. I promised the Little Bit!"

"And because you promised Dawn something, you lied and lied and lied to me. Was that fair?"

Before he could bluster out an answer to that, she sat astride his hips and popped another dark brown square into his mouth. "Do you like that?"

"Mmmm."

She licked a smear of chocolate from the corner of his mouth.

"Like that even better. But, uh, love?"

"Yes? Mmmm." She was kissing the side of his neck and rubbing her whole torso against his now.

"I've done the apology twenty times over, and I bought the chocolates and champagne without being asked, and I gave you all of my share of the money from the tour, barring what I needed to buy the bloody chocolates and champagne, and I've been apologizing in other ways for going on three hours now."

"Yes, you have." Kisses, nips and licks were being bestowed liberally on his neck and chest. "Those are all good things." Gentle fingertips trailed down from his neck to his hip.

"So, I was wondering, love— Ah! Do that again."

"Mmm?"

"I was wondering if you'd take the shackles off now."

Her first response was a nip that made him tighten his grip on the chains anchoring him to the head of the bed.

"Absolutely—" said Buffy between licks.

"Ah—"

More nips and touches, a bit lower now. His back arched, his legs straining against the leather bands strapped to his ankles.

"—not!"

He gave a moan that wasn't entirely motivated by her refusal. "Buffy! You said last time, that there was just one more thing—"

"Unless I came up with another thing." For a representative of the forces of Good, Buffy could produce a very wicked grin. "And I have. Since I missed out on most of your adventures this week, I thought I'd take my own little tour of some of the evil that lurks in heart of Sunnydale."

Spike gave up. After all, this was one tour he was likely to enjoy.


The End


Thank you for reading!

2006-11-06 00:31 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] snippy-kitty.livejournal.com
Spike shackled to the bed always makes me happy:)

Especially after the latest pics of JM in the sideburns of doom:(

2006-11-06 00:56 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] petzipellepingo.livejournal.com
For a representative of the forces of Good, Buffy could produce a very wicked grin. "And I have. Since I missed out on most of your adventures this week, I thought I'd take my own little tour of some of the evil that lurks in heart of Sunnydale."
Spike gave up. After all, this was one tour he was likely to enjoy.


Oh yeah...

2006-11-06 04:47 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] ladycat713.livejournal.com
Chocolate and sex. That's a really harsh punishment.Very good ending. I'm glad to see more of this verse.

2006-11-06 05:03 (UTC)
ext_7237: (Dead Things Icon # 2)
- Posted by [identity profile] adriana-is.livejournal.com
I waited to read all the installments to comment again. I seriously loved this. You wrote an excellent story. Brava!!

2006-11-06 05:56 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] beloved4always.livejournal.com
This was hella good fun! Just great. Thanks so much!!

2006-11-06 06:41 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] manoah.livejournal.com
Lovely, absolutely lovely.

Shiny, happy Buffy and Spike is so very, very nice. And you do it so well.

Thanks for sharing.

2006-11-06 06:49 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] thedeadlyhook.livejournal.com
There is so much terrific dialogue and funny character moments in this story, I'm not even sure where to start. The whole thing is a massively fun ride.

And in the end, Buffy is too good at numbers! Even with them all working against her, she manages to add it all up and solve the mystery. (If I had to pick a favorite part, it might be Spike's surly sewer tour. Or maybe Buffy deciding to play docent to a group herself.)

Kudos, too, on your Anya! Raising the price of stakes Buffy used. Now that's good capitalism.

"Yes? Mmmm." She was kissing the side of his neck and rubbing her whole torso against his now.

"I've done the apology twenty times over, and I bought the chocolates and champagne without being asked, and I gave you all of my share of the money from the tour, barring what I needed to buy the bloody chocolates and champagne, and I've been apologizing in other ways for going on three hours now."

"Yes, you have." Kisses, nips and licks were being bestowed liberally on his neck and chest. "Those are all good things." Gentle fingertips trailed down from his neck to his hip.


Very happy visuals to end things on. : )

2006-11-06 14:51 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] timeofchange.livejournal.com
So much to love, from the chapter titles to the character voices to the entire demon school crew. I enjoyed every minute of this.

2006-11-06 16:01 (UTC)
quinara: Sheep on a hillside with a smiley face. (Buffy Restless)
- Posted by [personal profile] quinara
This was a complete and utter riot! (Literally in some places!)

Thank you for the grins.

2006-11-06 22:28 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] curiouswombat.livejournal.com
Wonderful stuff - I want my own Felix now!

2006-11-06 22:46 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] missus-grace.livejournal.com
Haven't the scoobs figured out that you can't fool the Slayer too many times? It was a valient effort, though, and Buffy even got some extra in the bargain.

It's cool to see a story where Spike and Buffy are already together and "out" to their friends.

2006-11-07 05:11 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] basilio-the-cat.livejournal.com
Loved this :D

2006-11-07 05:19 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] brunettepet.livejournal.com
This story made me laugh out loud. The French farce of trying to hide the tour from Buffy was well realized. I felt sorry for Buffy and Spike at times, but I was giggling too much to really take it to heart. The original cast of characters and the amusing plot helped move this story along swimmingly. Anya charging extra for the selkies fondling Xander and Buffy fondling the souvenir stakes was inspired. This was a wild, entertaining ride.

2006-11-07 22:39 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] sammywol.livejournal.com
Playing catch up after a weird weekend and so I got to read this all in a lump. hooray!

I just adored it. Have press-ganged poor Mr Wol into reading it (he doesn't really get the Spuffy thing) just so I have someone to bounce my 'Oh that is the best line yet!' comments off. i love it when you do silly and I love shifty, caught-lying Spike too! Thankyou for this!

2006-11-08 20:12 (UTC)
ext_7259: (Default)
- Posted by [identity profile] moscow-watcher.livejournal.com
Reading your fic was like watching an actual episode of BtVS! The voices are spot-on, the plotting is dense and inventive. And - the humor! I adore your take on season 6!

2006-11-10 01:25 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] thisficklemob.livejournal.com
Hmm. Is this the sort of "punishment" that is likely to result in less mischief on Spike's part...? I suppose it at least ensures his full attention while she enumerates all the many ways in which he screwed up.

In any case, brava! This was a joy to read.

2006-11-12 11:34 (UTC)
gillo: (dreaming)
- Posted by [personal profile] gillo
Oh what a gorgeous ending!

you'd invited half the cast of Lord of the Rings to prowl all over Sunnydale - you have such a good ear for the voices and Josslike imagery - this rings so very true.

It took me a while to get to the end, but I loved every bit of it. And the ending itself, with the chaines and chocolate and champagne - alliteration in the cause of guh! Beautiful.

(no subject)

- Posted by [personal profile] gillo - 2006-11-12 15:36 (UTC) - Expand

2006-11-12 13:56 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] constance-b.livejournal.com
Absolutely Brilliant. SO many lines that made me laugh out loud in this, and the ending was perfect.

2006-11-12 22:43 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] confusedkayt.livejournal.com
This was ever so fun and well-realized! Thanks for sharing.

2006-11-13 02:38 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] revdorothyl.livejournal.com
Perfect epilogue -- with Buffy finally getting the chance to take her own evil tour, with an evil grin on her face (well-deserved)!

2006-11-16 22:14 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] morgantree.livejournal.com
This was so much fun! And so damned well written. Characterizations to die for, as usual (love your work!).

Such a zany romp -- like a Shakespearean comedy, or one of those 1940's screwball comedies... anyway, thanks for a very good time!

2006-11-19 21:38 (UTC)
ext_1124: (spuffy_trkiss by catatonia1242)
- Posted by [identity profile] rainkatt.livejournal.com
This has been on a tab forever, and I finally got to finish it. I loved it! So funny, and such great voices and great lines. The end was the best--there's nothing bad about chained-up Spike. :-)

2006-11-23 19:47 (UTC)
shapinglight: (Default)
- Posted by [personal profile] shapinglight
That was a terrific story - great fun from start to finish. The Warthogs were annoying and funny by turns, Anya was a scream, and the whole idea was just wonderful.

Loved it.

2007-01-05 07:20 (UTC)
- Posted by [identity profile] spikes_heart.livejournal.com
I am so bloody behind in my reading and commenting. Thank god for bookmarks and dogged persistence. I loved this! So in need of a bit of light-hearted fun, what with my first cold in 5 years hanging on for more than a week so far. I'm in love with Felix, annoyed with Dawn for holding Spike to that promise, sympathetic towards Buffy for her paranoia, and gaga over Spike as a default. Glad no Mr. Gordos were harmed in the writing of this tale (Smack Xander twice in the head for me over that cheating comment, if you please).

Brava, hon... for a job well done.

2007-11-12 23:40 (UTC)
deird1: Fred looking pretty and thoughful (Default)
- Posted by [personal profile] deird1
Fantastic!

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