Photostory: Dead Things (6x13) Reenacted

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

I have a lot of fun doing these photostories. Even more fun is knowing that others can gently mock with me. My offering today, with apologies to Steven S. DeKnight, is:

Title: Dead Things Reenacted
Author (for want of a more accurate term): fer1213
Rating: PG-13, possibly an R. Then again, this was shown on national television. Then AGAIN again, it was shown on UPN pre-"Standards and Practices". Either way, there's plastic naked flesh to behold behind the cut.

A/N: Just as a "by the way", if you hotlink this post, copy it onto your own site, blog, etc. (especially without crediting me--I mean, BAD FORM stealers!), I will hunt you down, fry you and eat you for dinner. AFTER I sic the Buffy corner of LJ on you. I'm just saying. We all know a vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Linking to this post, though, would make me smile a LOT. And as always, dial-up users, beware.

Without further ado:



Our episode opens with a very trashed crypt o' Spike after naked Spuffy acrobatics.

Spike, per usual, says the absolute wrong thing and very nearly sends Buffy--with or without her underwear--flying for the door. Just in time, he entices her back with Handcuff Bondage Games 101.

Meanwhile, The Troika The Trio Warren, Jonathan and Andrew are cooking up a scheme to get chicks. VERY IMPORTANT to "evil villians", the chick-having. Warren comes up with a Cerebral Dampener, which (basically) is a big brass ball--bigger than the balls of all three of these guys combined, I'm thinking.

Andrew and Jonathan bicker; Warren pulls out the ball.

The Tri These guys do horrible things in this episode, and with this Cerebral Dampener. They kidnap, mind-screw and accidently kill Warren's ex-girlfriend Katrina. These are things I can't poke fun at. But what you really want to see is more of the Spike and Buffy Sex in Public Places show, right? So we'll get back to it!

Buffy comes home from a long day of selling greasy, questionable food products and finds her friends about to go out for a night of dancing at the Bronze. Buffy goes along for the "frosty nectar", though, personally, beer's about as far from nectar as you can get. Plus, Buffy and beer? Say it with me: NOT MIXY.

While Xander, Anya and Willow are getting their groove thang on, Buffy wanders up to the balcony. And to Spike. Spike and his incredible, totally bendy penis that can penetrate Buffy from behind, through her panties, while she's not even on tiptoes! That Spike is truly a sex GOD.

Her friends, on the dance floor below, are oblivious. As is everyone usually milling around in the balcony, apparently.

Other stuff happens between Willow and Tara the next day and Dawn's in the episode, yada yada yada. But then we come to The Door Scene.

Buffy has a hard time walking away from the Door of Sex and tells herself to resist the evil, bloodsucking, blowtorch HOT fiend when she hears a woman cry out in the woods. Ugly hooded bad guys and wonky time ensue.

The demons disappear and Buffy finds she's slugged Spike. Only this time she actually didn't mean to.

Buffy thinks she's killed Katrina, who is really Jonathan glamored as Katrina. Warren and Andrew celebrate. Jonathan looks a little green around the gills. Spike tells Buffy to go home. Trust him. He'll take care of everything.

More naked Spuffy time!

Fortunately (though all Spuffy shippers think UNfortunately), it's a dream. And Buffy's determined to turn herself in. Spike confronts her in the alley next to the police department, mean terrible things are said, the police find Katrina's body, and Buffy gives Spike the beating that made hundreds of fangirls want her blood.

But Buffy discovers she's not at fault for Katrina's death after all. And she says--to the Scoobies--the line that Spike said to her: "You always hurt the one you love". Whether or not she's referring to Spike is hotly debated in posts for years to come.

THE END

Comments

[gotkona.livejournal.com]

Ok that was the best. You are very talented.

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

You are very talented.

You are very kind to say that, but I think maybe I'm just very crazy. ;D

[cordykitten]

Yay, a new photostory! I hurried to read it (before it's hotlinked again)
Loved it :)
Your stories are so funny! I really hope it won't get hotlinked again and can stay fort the other users to read!
*hugs* Thanks for making.

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

HOPEFULLY it won't get hotlinked. It made me really sad to take the others down. :(

I'm really glad you liked it. Thanks!

[sueworld2003.livejournal.com]

Oh my god this is inspired!

Your Johnathon and Warren is just su-bloody-perb!

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you so much! "Inspired" is a great comment, especially coming from you--queen of the inspired manipulative art. :D

[sunlit5.livejournal.com]

wonderful!


And yeah she loves him.

Sun

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

And yeah she loves him.

That's my take on it as well. ;)

[neo-trinityknot.livejournal.com]

hee! Humpa humpa

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Glad it made you laugh. Thanks!

[fanbot.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the laughs, Luv!

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Very happy to be of service. ;) Thank you!

[moscow-watcher.livejournal.com]

*rustle-rustle* *Humpa-humpa-humpa*
"Spike and his incredible, totally bendy penis "
LOL! You're evil creature! I'll never be able to watch the scene without giggling!

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

I'll never be able to watch the scene without giggling!

HEE! Then my work here is done. ;D

[ukchrisp.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO !! that is the funniest thing i've read in a long time - wonderful :)

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad to hear that. Thanks very much!

You. Are. A. Genius!

[barronsjzuk.livejournal.com]

Brilliant! Simply brilliant. (and definitely a keeper!)

Is there going to be a sequel? :whistles innocently:

Re: You. Are. A. Genius!

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! You are too kind. :)

Is there going to be a sequel?

I've actually already done Smashed, Wrecked and Crush, but I had to take the pictures down due to others hotlinking them and reposting them without permission and/or credit. I may put them back up again someday, though.

[sweet-ali.livejournal.com]

Is there any reason not to lurve you, Fer?

I think not *adores*

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

*lurves you back*

Thanks, Ali!

[drakontaskyria.livejournal.com]

Oh Gods! I'm snortling - and you know how that hurts! Your latest photostory is so good I'm hotlinking it to my own site and taking credit for it. *winks*

Spike doing the door. Humpa, humpa. And his totally bendy penis are among my favs. (I have the dailies of that ep and at one point, after a take of the balcony scene, SMG says to JM something like - "you were fucking my back." Hee, hee! Location, location, location...)

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Your latest photostory is so good I'm hotlinking it to my own site and taking credit for it. *winks*

My heart! You mustn't joke so! ;)

I have those dailies too. I wish I'd remembered what SMG had said. It would have made a great inside joke for this!

Thanks very much. :D

[souloftherose.livejournal.com]

*Dies laughing* Humpa,humpa,humpa??? Bwahahahaha! Loved this so very much. You rock, please continue to entertain us with many more "photo stories". I want to see some good angsty Angel ones - he's always good for a laugh. ;p

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

I'm really happy it made you laugh!

I'd be happy to do Angel stories, but I don't have an Angel doll. Poor me. ;)

[spikereader.livejournal.com]

Everyone has all said it for me - I love it. (And wonder to myself why I've never come across any of your photostories before, as this obviously isn't the first). Saw your post on your LJ as to why you've taken them down.

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed this. And I wish I hadn't had to take the others down (I've done Smashed, Wrecked and Crush), but hotlinkers suck, man. Maybe I'll put them back up again someday, though.

Thank you!

[deborahc.livejournal.com]

Fabulous.

I'm still working on catching up after a prolonged stint of limited internet access and just came across this gem. I've saved it in my memories with the other hysterical action figure re-enactments you created and shared. Many thanks.

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much! I unfortunately had to take the pics down from my other photostories due to people hotlinking them and reposting them without permission or credit, but I'm very flattered that you've saved them to your memories. :D

[bluekaty.livejournal.com]

The Door of sex and Spike 's incredible, totally bendy penis
I actually fell of the chair laughing.

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Hee!! I love hearing that. Thanks!

[marsterslady.livejournal.com]

Hee! I love it when you do these. This was so creative, and such fun. :)

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad you liked it, Alley. I hope you're doing well.

*smoosh*

[alzzers.livejournal.com]

Now see, I always assumed Spike was doing other things to her on that balcony...but him having an agile penis is probably more likely! This was utterly enjoyable, thanks!

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

"Other things"? Oh my! HEEE!

I'm so glad you liked it. Thank you!

[lmbossy.livejournal.com]

Spike and his incredible, totally bendy penis that can penetrate Buffy from behind, through her panties, while she's not even on tiptoes! That Spike is truly a sex GOD.
*hee hee* I love these, but have to say my favourites are the stand-ins ... Willow and Jonathan are gigglesome *g*

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry I'm so late in replying!! But I really do appreciate your comments. And I'm so glad you laughed. :D Thank you!

[http://users.livejournal.com/naty_/]

oh god, andrew with "frampton comes alive"! Thanks for sharing another funny photostory :)

[fer1213.livejournal.com]

Sorry about the very late reply!

I'm more than happy to share these. I'm just so glad you enjoy them. :D