Custard is the cruelest donut because it pretends to be jelly.

I agree! Or it pretends to be whipped cream, which I don't mind at all in the center of a chocolate frosted eclair or filled donut.

But custard? Yecch! (I never could figure out how my English dorm-mates could so happily ladle this thick, viscous, bright yellow . . . STUFF all over their desserts, either.)