It's such a nice feeling to start reading a new fic and recognize the increasingly rare *click in my head* that means it's a *keeper.* You instantly drew my in by setting the scene through the upset of a supporting character. Bonus that it was Vi', who I never disliked during the show but have come to feel actual affection for since falling for Felicia Day.
You captured everyone's reactions - including Spike's own - to finding out Spike's soul has gone, beautifully. Of course, we spend the most time following how Spike and Buffy process the loss - how they sort through all the bombarding and conflicting feelings, thoughts and memories and try to figure out the possible causes, ramifications, how to proceed etc... Buffy works so hard to make sense of it to herself, Spike and to the Scoobies.
While Buffy and Spike were discussing his motivations for wanting his soul back, part self-punishment, part wanting what Buffy wanted - I had my own mini-epiphany. Not really a new opinion, just a new way of articulating it in a more focused way: Spike wanted to make an honest man of himself. Two core beliefs about himself had been shaken away. His conviction that he didn't hurt Buffy along with his confidence in being able to read her correctly, both dis-proven. He demanded they be true though, so he resolved to restore the missing part of himself needed to make them true - to make himself fit his shattered self-image, and be what she wanted and deserved. (And I guess my mini-epiphany didn't extend beyond that one line: He wanted to make an honest man of himself. Because I had to really struggle to explain what I mean. So I really relate how hard Buffy struggles to focus and articulate her own thoughts and feelings to herself and others.
Lots of other highlights I'd point out here (particularly your characterizations of Xander and Anya), but I've already spent way too long writing this much and must get on with my chores. So I'll just end by expressing my admiration for your beginning and anticipation for what's to come.
no subject
You captured everyone's reactions - including Spike's own - to finding out Spike's soul has gone, beautifully. Of course, we spend the most time following how Spike and Buffy process the loss - how they sort through all the bombarding and conflicting feelings, thoughts and memories and try to figure out the possible causes, ramifications, how to proceed etc... Buffy works so hard to make sense of it to herself, Spike and to the Scoobies.
While Buffy and Spike were discussing his motivations for wanting his soul back, part self-punishment, part wanting what Buffy wanted - I had my own mini-epiphany. Not really a new opinion, just a new way of articulating it in a more focused way: Spike wanted to make an honest man of himself. Two core beliefs about himself had been shaken away. His conviction that he didn't hurt Buffy along with his confidence in being able to read her correctly, both dis-proven. He demanded they be true though, so he resolved to restore the missing part of himself needed to make them true - to make himself fit his shattered self-image, and be what she wanted and deserved. (And I guess my mini-epiphany didn't extend beyond that one line: He wanted to make an honest man of himself. Because I had to really struggle to explain what I mean. So I really relate how hard Buffy struggles to focus and articulate her own thoughts and feelings to herself and others.
Lots of other highlights I'd point out here (particularly your characterizations of Xander and Anya), but I've already spent way too long writing this much and must get on with my chores. So I'll just end by expressing my admiration for your beginning and anticipation for what's to come.