Wonderful story. Very creative approach. You made the world real. I love your style - very evocative, and your light touches with dialogue.
I have to admit to be a little jarred as a comics reader. I know you were using it as a jumping off point as a concept and going AU, but it felt to me like while you were right on target with the ANGEL comics, BUFFY didn't quite work in the scenario. The expectation from seeing Harmonic Divergence in the notes threw me. It seems more like you've been faithful to the concept borrowed from the ANGEL comics, while here you're using the TV canon for Buffy's side - she dated the Immortal, she hasn't been actively out fighting evil, but more being a party girl who would attend movie premieres and buy into Hollywood.
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I have to admit to be a little jarred as a comics reader. I know you were using it as a jumping off point as a concept and going AU, but it felt to me like while you were right on target with the ANGEL comics, BUFFY didn't quite work in the scenario. The expectation from seeing Harmonic Divergence in the notes threw me. It seems more like you've been faithful to the concept borrowed from the ANGEL comics, while here you're using the TV canon for Buffy's side - she dated the Immortal, she hasn't been actively out fighting evil, but more being a party girl who would attend movie premieres and buy into Hollywood.